June 12, 2022

This update has a few recent and a few old works that I never posted and some notes on them. You can find all other poetry here.

I drink

I drink
Just to feel again.
That rush.
My heart beats excitedly again.
Just for a moment,
I can do anything.
Before I sink again.
Coffee.
The only reason
I still want,
I still can
Wake up again.

A dramatic poem about coffee can provide its own form of entertainment, and people who can’t function before having coffee can probably relate to some of this. Also, this poem came naturally and wrote itself in about 10 minutes.

The next few poems are a bit heavy, and sometimes it requires being in the right mood to want to read them. So if you'd rather not do that, please skip to ”Unbothered”.

I write

I write these poems,
Kind of like one of the idiots
That Shakespeare spoke about,
Writing words full of sound and fury
Yet signifying nothing.

Well, there's an ache in my stomach.
I'm not sure how it got in,
But I hoped, maybe if I write,
I hoped it'd be my medicine.

So I write my silly poems,
And I meditate as well,
And I try to give my thanks,
But nothing seems to help.

There's still an ache in my stomach
For which I've found no medicine.
Or maybe I'm just cracking open,
After all, like Leonard said,
That is how the light gets in.

The stomachache was mostly anxiety, but it was followed by a long period of positive growth, so I guess some light did get in. And the poem refers to a few lines from Shakespeare's Macbeth and Leonard Cohen's Anthem.

Garden

There was a garden
Of wilting flowers,
Where I would go alone
And feel right at home,
And I felt understood
Without saying a word.

Maybe it was seeing them wilt,
And even if
Beautiful flowers do that,
Then it was ok
For me too.

Maybe it was seeing them go,
And even though
We all die alone,
Maybe among them, it felt
Like I wouldn't have to.

And time has its way,
With flowers, and people,
Among other things.
Time passed, and I
Kind of didn't notice
That I don't go there anymore.

I spend my time
With flowers in bloom now.

This poem was a reflection on a darker time, and the line “I don't go there any more” is a play on the poem with that title that I wrote during that time. And while most of the poem has a dark tone to it, it does end on a positive note because things do change if we give them enough time and the right kind of effort.

Truth is

Truth is weird,
But not in a bad way,
More like peculiar, curious,
As it comes in different shapes.

It can be a proven statement,
Like "earth is round",
Or "vaccines work",
And we'll still find people who'll try to dispute it.

It can be funny and cute,
Like koalas
Who sometimes need a branch
To sit on while being weighed.

It can be scary.
For example,
Global warming is real,
And we're not sure how things will go.

Truth, just like feelings,
Sometimes doesn't make immediate sense,
Like loving someone
After they've hurt us.

And truth can be sad.
She's not coming back.

While I can personally relate to the last line, having gone through unsuccessful relationships, the image that I associate with it is actually from “That '70s Show” when Bob realizes that his wife is not coming back (I was a huge fan of that show). If the link still works, you can watch it here around 17:45 mark.

This poem is not about any particular relationship, but more about how a lot of romantic relationships end. Sometimes, people manage to stay good friends, and I think that is wonderful. But most of the time, that is not the case. The change in closeness is very dramatic, and with time, we learn to be ok with that. I think just like love, letting go is very much part of being human.

Unbothered

I've been unbothered.

A little trouble at work?
No problem.
Review,
Communicate better,
Put in a few extra hours.
Things are back on track.
Unbothered.

A little trouble with health?
Got it.
Rest more,
Eat better,
Keep up with the exercise.
Things are back to normal.
Unbothered.

My favorite music and arts
Are now bland,
A little bit better than boring.
Better than nothing.
Kind of like these lines.
It's fine.
Unbothered.

I ran into her.

I'm not sure
This whole
"I don't feel" thing
Is really working.
Crap.
Bothered!

The first time

I am inside.
I can feel the whole universe.
It is all here.
This must be the meaning of life.

I'm out.
I'm back in.

Big bang
Created the universe,
And I might have
Just created some life.

That was heaven.

Did you come too?

This is a humorous commentary on a first sexual encounter and blissful ignorance that comes with lack of experience. And before anyone asks, NO, THIS IS NOT BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!

The House of Hearts

We will get married
And build a house,
The place where our family starts,
The house of loving hearts.

Our place of warmth, comfort, and joy,
Our steadfast port in the storm,
Where you and I will have each other,
Our loving home.

And we'll have beautiful children,
Our precious lights, little stars.
And they can shine and play freely
In the house of wild hearts.

A place for them to be just as they are,
To feel loved, safe, and never alone,
Where we will all have each other,
Our loving home.

They will go to school
To learn science and arts,
And they'll learn care and kindness
In the house of gentle hearts.

They will grow up and start adult lives,
But we will never feel far apart,
As they will always have a place
In the house of warm, welcoming hearts.

You and I will grow older,
But we don't have to grow old.
We will make sure
That time is kind to our romance.
We'll still hold hands,
Hug, kiss, laugh, and dance,
And live happily ever after
In the place where it all starts,
Our forever home,
Our loving hearts.

This one is pretty straightforward. I really want a family.

Thank you for checking out these poems. Please feel encouraged to send me a message with any thoughts and feelings you have on them.